Self-esteem is how we perceive ourselves in the society. The value that we think ourselves hold and how we much we think we are in control. Although self-esteem is within ourselves, however, it is affected positively or negatively by how we respond to our surrounding. Self-esteem is something that we learn. This means we hold the key to developing our self-esteem.
Here are some ways to boost your self-esteem:
Winning vs Losing
Know that life is a game and it is normal that sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. It is normal to fail because life is like a wheel- sometimes you are at the top, sometimes you are at the bottom. People with healthy self-esteem treat failures as learning experiences and accept them.
Do not overthink situations in a negative way
When bad things happen to you, try to take it positively. Yes, it is hard and impossible to be positive and happy-go-lucky all the time (unless you are faking it). Perceiving and over-analysing even a simple situation in a negative way are a sign of low self-esteem. Try to practice positive thinking (yes, you can learn how to do so). I use to have this negative thought that my parents strongly favoured my younger brother over me. Because of that particular thought, my mind somehow only focused on events that proved they loved my brother more. I felt abandoned and my negative thought worsens to the stage that I feel like harming myself physically. Luckily, I was able to collect my thoughts back when I saw my younger brother being scolded by my mother for creating mischief. It struck me back then that my parents are actually wise and fair. You only deserve results for how you choose to behave and do. It is the same for our thinking. If you choose to think negative thought then your life will gravitate towards the negative events, even if it is actually bringing you more positive effect, people with negative thoughts would tend to focus on the little negative effect. Thus, this negative feeling reinforces your low self-esteem. So, remember that the choice on how to act and perceive is with you. You can choose how others interact with you. You can choose to have healthy self-esteem.
Motivate yourself regularly
The best leaders in this world fail many times. It is the failures that motivated them to be successful. Motivations are like putting sugar into green tea drink. Even the bitter drink can become sweet to the tongue. People with low self-esteem are lack self-motivations. They usually underestimate themselves (never a good thing). One of the best time to motivate yourself is when you are in bed trying to fall asleep. Say to yourself things that you want to be: eg. I am strong, I am independent. If you did a mistake during the day, reflect it in a positive way. Instead of saying “I am stupid for making that kind of mistake, I can’t do my job properly” do say “I have made a mistake but I have learned how to do the right way, I am sure tomorrow’s job will be easy for me to handle because I already know how to do it”
While sleeping you mind will record the things that happen during the day including what you said before you fall asleep. This is called subconscious shaping. My favourite quote is “make tomorrow a better day than today, be a better person tomorrow than you are today” and I always remind myself this quote before I go to sleep. I woke up with a goal for myself- be a better person.
You see, healthy self-esteem can be achieved by everyone including you. Just keep up those positive mindsets. Do not mind what others may think about you because you know yourself better than anyone else does.